New Year, New Start

Choke written by Chuck Palahniuk

Just a little light reading

I’m glad to report that I survived the holidays – didn’t get too hog wild, didn’t stuff myself silly, didn’t eat every piece of cake or pie under the sun… didn’t exercise, didn’t learn my songs, didn’t practice the guitar or the keyboard, either. As far as Rock Star is concerned, with the exception of catching up on some much needed sleep and still practicing my oh so lovely ukulele, the holidays were a bust.

But Hey! It’s a New Year, and that means a New Start!

And I started the year off right, with a full check-up from my doctor I hadn’t seen in years (if I’m serious about exercise, the last thing I want to do is stoke out on my stationary bike – awkward). Did the works – checked my heart, lungs, blood pressure, prostate (oh THAT was fun); drew blood to check my blood sugar levels and cholesterol and anything else nasty that might be lurking around. The nurse had an excellent time – I’m a fluffy dude of German descent, the veins in my arms like to hide; poor woman had to stick my three times in two arms before she finally found a bleeder. An afternoon of humiliation and forty-eight hours later, I get my results: blood pressure is great, cholesterol is just over optimum, blood sugar is fine, nothing at all unusual with my booty. With the exception of low testosterone  (which isn’t surprising considering my age), I’m in good health for a guy lugging around a Body Mass Index of over forty percent.

(And NO, my doctor was NOT at all happy about that BMI.)

With a stern warning to start eating better, another stern warning to get some exercise, and a prescription for a topical testosterone cream, I am ready to tackle the tasks at hand. Let Rock Star commence!

P.S. Oh, and a word of warning: if you’re going to discover Mr. Palahniuk’s body of work, don’t attempt it while riding a stationary bike – whipping your head around in shock is doubly painful when aiming for the twelve-mile mark. Definitely need to be in a chair listening to something soothing with nothing breakable within arms reach. Just saying.

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